The Christmas Prank
by ladyoftheknightley
Summary: In which Christmas presents are switched around, Andromeda Tonks is not amused, Teddy Lupin nearly kisses the wrong Weasley and Louis Weasley is most definitely not a pervert. A Christmas present for owluvr!


**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and associated characters, events, places and everything else are not mine, nor am I likely to get my Christmas wish of turning into JK Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made from this; it's for Christmassy entertainment only!

**A/N: **This is for the **100 Characters Competition **using Louis Weasley and prompt #87, gift and the **Holiday Spirit Christmas Boot Camp **using prompt #15, family reunion. But most importantly, this is for Olivia (owluvr) as part of HPFC's Christmas Exchange. I hope you enjoy all the Weasleys, Olivia – I tried to get them all in and this has a healthy dose of Teddy/Victoire fluff, too, so I hope it's what you wanted. Merry Christmas!

* * *

My name is Louis Weasley, and I am not a pervert.

I mean, I'm many things. Many, _many _things. But a pervy weirdo is not one of them. If you were to ask my sister Victoire, though...well, she might think that I was. Victoire's never exactly had her head screwed on right, though, if you ask me, and...well, I just had to make that bit clear, before I dive on into this story. Because, no matter what my sister tries to say – I'm _not_ a pervert. So if you could keep that in mind whilst I continue with the rest of this tale...well, I'd appreciate it.

* * *

I should probably start from the beginning. My name is Louis William Weasley, I'm fifteen years old (sixteen in less than two weeks, in fact) and ragingly handsome. I'm quite literally a danger to humanity: I'm so good looking that I have literally set the world on fire on numerous occasions – but of course, you knew that already.

No, I kid, I kid. I'm not really that hot, but I've been told I'm pretty passable. I'm averagely good-looking; averagely intelligent; averagely popular and averagely good at Quidditch. I'm _not_ going to set the world alight in any of those fields, but at the same time, my life is hardly a challenge. I get on well with almost everyone, and I'm just talented enough to get by in my classes and everything else at school. I'm well-behaved enough that my parents don't argue with me too much, and I have a decent enough holiday job to not to have to worry about money. You want to be me, don't you?

Well, no, you don't. You don't want to be me at all. You see, whilst I have all this going for me (and yes, I am aware how lucky I am to have all this going for me), I also happen to have two older sisters. And let me tell you, this is quite literally the worst thing in the world.

The younger of the two is Dominique. She's in her final year at school and she's gorgeous (or so I have to put up with all the boys from third year upwards telling me) and she changes her boyfriend every five minutes. Sometimes, just to be different, she dates girls. She plays on the Quidditch team and she's a Prefect and she comes top or almost-top in all of her classes. I know. It's _ridiculous_. But you know what? She's not even the worst.

No, the worst one is Victoire. Now, Victoire is nineteen and has been out of school for two years. She's halfway through an apprenticeship with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry of Magic, and in two years' time, when she's qualified, she's going to be a big shot lawyer type person who does...law related stuff. I don't know. She tells me things, but I tend to tune her out...

Anyway, Vic lives at home with our parents because, as she likes to tell us every second of the day, she's poorer than poor because she has no income and she has to pay tuition fees to the Ministry and the stipend they give her barely covers her core textbooks and so on (and on and on. Personally, I think she just says this so she has an excuse not to buy us Christmas presents). She also sort of lives with Teddy in his pokey little apartment, but he's off finishing his Auror training most of the time, and even when he's in London and not gallivanting off on some field trip catching Dark Wizards, his flat's...well, it's hideous. Even I will admit this, and, as my sisters are fond of pointing out, I am not the cleanest person.

(All I will say to this is that it's _perfectly fine_ to wear the same pair of underpants four days in a row as long as you do the inside out and then back to front thing. Yeah.)

The problem with Victoire, though, is that she and Ted hardly ever get to see each other. Either he's off doing his Evil Person Lassoing (or whatever the hell it is Aurors do – I know I _should_ know, given the fact that every other person in my family either is one or wants to be one, but I honestly don't), or she's off studying for some exam or case to be heard by the Wizangamot or something. They're both Professionals, with a capital P, and unfortunately for them, this means that they aren't able to see each other much at all. In fact, I think they actually saw more of each other when Vic was in school and Ted had finished than they do now, which is unfortunate, really.

Yeah – I know, you're surprised I said that. But I'm not a complete heartless bastard, and you _know_ that would be no fun: if you're in love with someone, long distance relationships are the worst. Even wizard kind hasn't found a way to make more hours in a day so you can be with your beau. (Well, apparently they have, but I think a bunch of my extended family destroyed it in the war? I don't really know, we have a lot of stories like this in my family and they're hard to keep straight.)

Having said that, there's a but coming. A _big _but. I _could _feel sorry for Victoire, except for the fact that she never bloody shuts up about how hard it is to be apart from Teddy. And that's the most boring thing to hear in the whole wide world. I get that it must be hard, I _do_. But I don't want to hear about it, you know? And all I've heard since I've been back from school is 'wah wah wah, my life's so tough because I don't get to be with Teddy all the time'. And that's just...urgh. No one wants to hear that.

So anyway, Victoire has been going on about how excited she is for Christmas Eve, because that's when she gets to see Teddy for the first time in a week. (Because of how their work schedules are, they didn't have any free time to see each other in a whole week. Merlin, how on earth did they survive?!). Anyway, this bothered me, because I always look forward to Christmas Eve. I don't care how cheesy it is, I love it because we _all_ get together – no excuses – to have a good time.

Of course, the _reason_ we always have a good time – or at least, the reason James, Fred and I do, at any rate – is because of the many, many opportunities for pranking people. James' pranks tend to be loud and obnoxious – if you're covered in slime or turn into a chicken for a minute or have something make a rude noise when you sit on it, it's usually James' work. Fred's the inventor, like his Dad. Your best bet is never to accept an object of any description from him, no matter how innocently it was offered, because he _will_ have charmed it so there's some hidden element in there somewhere. Watch your possessions around him, too. There was one year, he charmed Lucy's broomstick so that every time someone got within three feet of it, it'd fly off. When she finally realised that he was behind it...well, it's a miracle he's still with us today, quite frankly.

My pranks, if I do say so myself, tend to be more elaborately thought out. I don't go in for the big showy stuff like the other two; I like to do subtle things that take a lot of planning. What can I say? I may as well put this genius brain to good use...

I kid, of course, but still. The time had come to make Ted and Vic look like the fools they really are (the worst thing about this whole thing, is that no one else seems to think their displays of affection are revolting; they just think they're cute! Lily's been planning their wedding since she was about nine, and Rose is always sighing about how she wants a relationship 'just like Ted and Vic's!' when she's older. Though that at least does have the effect of making Uncle Ron shoo them out of the room so they don't give her any ideas...). So I devised a plan.

Now, I won't go into very much detail here, because, if I do say so myself, it was a pretty good plan and I don't want to give away all of my secrets in case I want to reuse it again later. But the basic gist of it was this: my sister is obsessed with dresses, and I knew that she'd asked Teddy to buy her one as his Christmas present to her. When we get together as a family on Christmas Eve, we're each allowed to open one present a day early, in front of the whole family. Grandma always likes to watch us open our presents, but we don't all manage to be at the Burrow for Christmas Day every year, you see – sometimes we go to France to see Mum's parents, or Rose and Hugo go to see Auntie Hermione's parents or whatever. So that's our little tradition – we get together and open one present for Grandma's sake, though it's not exactly a hardship because, you know, presents.

I got James and Fred to distract the others – a task they performed manfully – when we got there, and I switched out Victoire's present from Teddy. After a little bit of food and something to drink we all – that's me, my sisters and parents, all my Aunts, Uncles and cousins, Grandma and Grandad and Teddy and his Grandmother – crowded into the living room to open presents. Hugo got a Chuddley Canons annual from Mum and Dad; then Molly got a book from Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron. Roxanne got a box of paints from Aunt Audrey and Uncle Percy, and then Rose opened a box of Honeydukes' finest from Albus. Everyone was exclaiming over their gifts and thanking the senders – all was going according to plan.

"Hey Vic," James said, playing along as I'd asked him to. "Why don't you open this one?" He passed her over the present – which I'd charmed to be the exact dimensions as the present Ted had wrapped – and Teddy nodded his agreement.

"Yes, open that one, it's from me," he said, smiling at her in the most disgustingly soppy way ever.

"Ooh, I think I know what this might be," Victoire said, turning the present over to read the gift tag. "'To my beautiful girlfriend – I can't wait to see you in this!' Aww!"

All the women present sighed in delight at how "sweet" and "lovely" this was, and Victoire pecked him on the cheek. I nearly lost my lunch. But their displays of affection did mean that everyone had turned to look at the two of them, and watch as Victoire opened her gift. She lifted the paper away slowly, giving the entire family time to look and see as she opened a box, which contained...well, not a blue dress with flowers printed on the skirt, that's for sure. _That_ had been secreted away in Uncle Charlie's old room.

Instead, Victoire had received a fluorescent pink underwear set. A very skimpy, fluorescent pink underwear set. "I...oh!" she said, as Teddy started growing progressively redder in the face. She shifted slightly, turning towards him and looking confused as hell. And also a bit cross. Tee hee.

The "present" got even better, at this point – I'd charmed the underwear so, at the slightest movement, it would start making noises. _Intimate_ noises. I watched as Uncle George stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing and Uncle Harry deliberately looked at the ceiling, the corners of his mouth twitching. Grandma muttered "Oh my!" and even Grandad looked mildly surprised. Dad was glaring at Ted and Mum had put a warning hand on his arm, restraining him, but even that was _nothing_ compared to the furious looks Mrs. Tonks was giving Ted.

"I wasn't—this isn't—I'm not—!" was all he managed to splutter, as Victoire's eyes filled with tears of embarrassment. Dominique put a protective arm around her and glared at him, but everyone else was trying to hide their laughter – some more successfully than others. Even Uncle Percy didn't exactly look disapproving, which is saying something, believe me.

"Teddy Remus Lupin!" Mrs. Tonks thundered, having finally managed to find her voice. "How _dare_ you do something like this!" The underwear was still moaning away, getting louder and louder, and everyone's giggles were getting louder, too. James caught my eye and gave me a thumbs up, as Uncle Ron wiped away tears of laughter and Aunt Hermione tried to give him a look of disapproval, but even she couldn't quite manage it.

"It wasn't me!" Teddy shouted, as the underwear reached a...um...climax.

Auntie Ginny clocked it first. "James!" she snapped. "What did you do to Victoire's present?!"

James behaved as any true friend should – he immediately went on the defensive. "Me?! I would _never_ do such a thing! I can't _believe_ you'd accuse me of this! Honestly, it's like every time something goes wrong, it must be my fault. Oh no, it can't _possibly_ be anyone else! I'm not—"

Aunt Angelina tried next. "Did _you_ have anything to do with this?!" she said, rounding on Fred, who again, started vigorously protesting his innocence. "What about you?" she snapped at Uncle George, who balked.

"Oh no, it wasn't me!" he said immediately.

"If I find out that this was all your idea, I'll cancel your Christmas, _and_ your birthday!" Auntie Ginny said to James, who looked worried. Now, I may be a Gryffindor but that doesn't mean I'm not loyal – I didn't see any point him getting his holidays ruined because of me. Besides, the joke had gone down so well (if you don't include the reactions of my sister and parents, and Ted and his Grandmother) and I didn't want to see James – or anyone else – getting the credit for my handiwork.

"I think you'll find," I said, raising my voice slightly to be heard above the hubbub, "that there's a lovely blue dress hidden away upstairs..."

I won't bore you with the details of everyone's reaction, but suffice to say, Victoire cheered up immediately on seeing her dress, Dad looked less like he was going to end Ted and Mrs. Tonks recovered once Grandma found her a glass of sherry to get over her shock. All my Uncles slapped me on the back for such a good prank, and all my Aunts glared at them and told them off for encouraging me. Mum let her displeasure be known once we were back home, but it was Christmas time, so even she wasn't too harsh.

Thankfully, the next few days were enough of a distraction that I was able to avoid Victoire – she _had _to be nice to me on Christmas Day, because I think there's a law against being mean then – and, after the usual post Christmas lull on Boxing Day were you play with your new gifts and sit in a stupor having consumed ten tons of food the day before, we headed to France for a few days at the end of the month to see _Grandmere _and _Grandpere_. Victoire ignored me all trip, but to be honest, that's not that different to usual, and I thought I'd gotten away with it. On our way back, on the thirtieth, I expressed this thought to Dominique.

"Nah," she said, "she'll get you back for it. Though – and don't tell her I said this – what you did was pretty funny. Her face was priceless, and Ted's, too!"

"If she hasn't done something by now, she never will," I replied.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Dominique said. I ignored her.

_Big _mistake.

As you know, the thirty-first, as well as being New Year's Eve, is my cousin James's birthday. Auntie Ginny and Uncle Harry had allowed him to have some friends round for the evening for a party, as they were going with Lily and Al to Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron's. But – and I mean this in the nicest, most flattering way possible – they're not stupid, and they knew that leaving James unsupervised in a house of sixteen year olds was not the best idea, so they said that he could only have the party if Teddy came to supervise so that, y'know, they actually had a house to come back to. Given that Ted said he'd bring along a bottle of Firewhiskey, James wasn't about to say no, and so the whole thing was arranged. People arrived, the party began, everything was marvelous, you know the drill.

Now, at around half ten, I went into the kitchen to get a drink, where I came across my sister and Ted, sitting on the countertop, making out. "Must you, guys?" I asked. I'd had no idea she was going to be here too – though I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised, as she and Ted can't bare to be separated for more than thirty seconds, these days.

Victoire glared at me and gave me the sort of hand gesture she'd never have dared to if our mother was around. "Piss off, Louis," she said.

"_I'm _not the one slobbering all over Ted in public," I countered.

She opened her mouth to respond, when a girl walked in. "Oh, excuse me!" she said.

"No, no, come in. Did you want a drink?" Ted asked.

"Just some water, I don't meant to intrude," she replied.

"You're not, it's fine. Glasses are over there," Ted said, pointing at the cupboard. She walked past me, and I got a full view of her – and realised who it was. Clad in a tiny denim skirt which made her legs look like they went on forever, and a green top that made her eyes look amazing, Felicity Goshawk flashed me a dazzling smile.

"Hi Louis, I wondered where you've been hiding," she said. "I haven't seen you all night, but I knew you'd be here somewhere!"

"Un-guh," I grunted, or something equally intelligent. I don't remember exactly – I try to block such embarrassing moments from my memory.

Felicity looked mildly perturbed by this, but carried on regardless. "I just came for some water, it's getting a bit hot out there," she said, as she filled her glass. "I'm going to go back out and have a dance, you know." For some reason, she turned slightly pink at this point. "Um...you should come, too. I think...er...Fred was looking for you."

"He was?" I asked. This struck me as a bit odd – I'd been talking to Fred not thirty seconds ago, and he knew exactly where I was.

"Yeah," Felicity said, "or something. Anyway, I'm going to head back out. Maybe I'll see you soon?"

"Oh, sure, absolutely. I mean," I said, colouring slightly and trying to tone down my enthusiasm, "yeah, maybe I'll come out soon. Er. Bye!"

"Bye!" Felicity said, walking out of the kitchen. I tried not to stare too obviously at her arse as she went past.

Turning back, I saw my sister and her boyfriend staring at me with knowing looks on their faces. I tried hard not to blush (damn Weasley genes). Ted was hiding a smile, but Victoire was openly smirking. "What?!" I asked, trying to sound innocent.

"You fancy her!" Victoire said triumphantly.

"No, I don't!" I replied immediately. (Note: this sentence may have not been entirely true.)

"Whatever," she said. "It's written all over your face. And," she added, looking _particularly _evil as she did so, "your jeans, too." Instinctively, I glanced down, blushing, but there was nothing to see there (thank Merlin). She and Ted were laughing out loud by this point, and I glared at them.

"Whatever," I said. "I'm going to the loo."

I hopped upstairs, spent a few moments doing what a guy's gotta do, and exited the bathroom. Unfortunately, this went less gracefully than I might have hoped. "Oh, sorry!" I said, bumping into someone as I came out of the room.

"It's okay!" said a girly voice. I looked down, and saw, to my horror, that it was Felicity I'd bumped into.

"So, um," I said, swallowing nervously. "Hi again!"

"Hi," she whispered. "Hey, look." She pointed up above us. "Mistletoe."

"What a strange place to put mistletoe," my idiot of a brain said. And, apparently, my mouth did too.

"Shut up and kiss me, you idiot," Felicity said, ignoring my daftness.

Unable to believe my luck, I leant in, closing my eyes. I saw Felicity lick her bottom lip ever so slightly, before her eyes closed too. I tilted my head slightly to the left, already anticipating our mouths meeting, when I heard a great "Hah!" of laughter behind me. My eyes flew open, and I saw that Felicity had suddenly shot up nearly a foot and was baring a remarkable resemblance to Teddy. The peal of laughter had come from behind me, and I turned to see Victoire clutching her sides.

"What the fu—?!" I began, as Teddy started to laugh too.

"My dear brother," Victoire said, recovering herself. "Our Teddy's a metamorphmagus. He can turn himself into whoever he wants to, as if by, well, magic! It only takes a simple illusion charm to make his clothes resemble your...uh...friend's, and...well. Next thing you know, you're snogging your sister's boyfriend!"

"Don't mess with my Christmas presents next year, yeah?" Ted added, joining my lovely, _lovely_ sister in looking smugly at me. Arseholes, the pair of them.

I muttered something grumpily at the two of them, before fleeing downstairs, where I spent the next forty minutes or so skulking around downstairs and trying to recover from my embarrassment. I guess I must have lost track of the time, or something, because the next thing I knew, I was in the kitchen getting yet another drink, when I suddenly heard the noise levels in the next room grow. "One minute to go!" cried a girl's voice.

"Oi, c'mere and gizza snog," I heard Fred say, and there was a playful shriek in response. The noise grew, so I was unable to hear individual voices, when suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned.

"Kiss for New Year's?" It was Felicity. Now, I wasn't about to fall for the same trick twice, and I was still annoyed by Ted's prank from earlier.

"Yeah, right," I scoffed, turning away.

"Oh," she said in a very small voice. "I'm sorry. I thought that..."

"Well, once was maybe funny, but twice is just stupid. Just piss off," I snapped (because I am a total _idiot_).

Then, several things happened at once. The noise from the living room became suddenly much clearer – I heard a countdown of "5! 4! 3! 2! 1!" and then a load of cheering. As the countdown began, Victoire and Ted came stumbling into the kitchen, joined at the lips and pulling at each other's clothes. I did a double-take at the sight of them, before turning back to Felicity. Too late, I noticed that she had tears running down her cheeks.

"Felicity, wait!" I cried, but she'd already gone, pushing past Victoire and Teddy as she left.

"Oh!" said my sister, breaking away from Teddy in surprise. "What's—?!" They looked at me in confusion, and I finally got my act together and started after her. Unfortunately, as I did so, a bunch of people from school, led by James, came piling into the kitchen, giggling and chatting in various stages of drunkenness. Ted leapt in front of Auntie Ginny's collection of glasses, aiming to stop anyone from breaking anything too valuable, and Victoire used the opportunity to pull me aside.

"What's going on? Are you okay, Louis?" she asked, looking at me in genuine concern. Say what you will about Vic – and, er, I think I kind of have here – but she is loyal.

"No, I...I've got to go!" I said, but she held onto my arm tightly.

"Seriously, is everything okay?" she asked, looking worried. By now, she'd caught the attention of James – who was more than a bit drunk.

"Louis? S'everything alight? I mean, alright?" he asked, stumbling over to me. This had the effect of causing the other six or seven people in the room to gape over at me, just as Felicity's best friend, Susannah, came storming into the kitchen. What felt like the entirety of my school year got to witness her angrily dumping her Butterbeer all over my head.

"You complete arse, Louis Weasley! How dare you treat Felicity this way? She's been nothing but lovely to you for months because she has a crush on you, and _that's_ how you treat her?! You're despicable!" she snarled, and finished by slapping me around the face.

"Wah-hey!" cheered some loser, and James began to laugh like only someone who's had a few too many Firewhiskeys can.

"Thank you for your party. We're leaving!" Susannah snapped at James, before turning on her heel and storming out of the kitchen. I stood there like an idiot for a few seconds, as around me, everyone started to laugh, before Victoire pushed me unceremoniously towards the living room.

"Go on, go and apologise!" she said, and coming to my senses, I raced into the other room. I was too late – just as I fought my way over to the fireplace, a teary Felicity was disappearing in a swirl of floo powder and flames. I turned away, wanting to get out of the room. I made my way into my Aunt and Uncle's bedroom, knowing no one would disturb me there – but I was wrong. No sooner had I closed the door when it opened again, and Victoire stood there.

"Lou?" she asked gently, coming to sit down next to me on the bed. "What happened?"

I told her the whole sorry story, and she listened patiently. "You, my dear, are an idiot," she said, once I got to the end.

"I know," I replied. "And Felicity certainly knows that, too." She hummed sympathetically, and we sat there in silence together for a little while.

"The thing about girls is," Victoire said after a few moments, leaning back against the pillows of Auntie Ginny and Uncle Harry's bed, "we're good at listening. You just have to tell us something worth hearing about."

I frowned.

She leant over and kissed my cheek. "Happy New Year, little brother. Make it a good one, yeah?" She hopped off the bed and made her way over to the door, but paused before she left the room. "There's some parchment in the top draw of the bureau," she said.

"What do you—?" I began, but she'd already gone. I walked over to the desk, thinking that maybe she'd left some words of wisdom on the parchment in the draw, but it was blank. I picked up a quill that was lying spare, and then – then – it suddenly hit me. Picking up the quill, I began to write.

And that's what I've been doing for the past two and a half hours, Felicity. Because I wanted you to understand that I'm not some git, even though I guess you're perfectly entitled to think that I am if you want to. And I really am sorry for yelling at you and being a jerk, and I hope you understand now that I didn't mean it. And I _really_ hope you don't think I'm a pervy weirdo. Because I'm definitely not any of those things.

Anyway, I couldn't help but notice that when Susannah was yelling at me, she said that you'd had a crush on me for months. I know that's the sort of thing you're supposed to pretend you didn't hear, but the truth is, I kind of like you too. So, if you're willing to give me a second chance...well, my owl will know where to find me.

I'll send this in the morning because I think if it arrives at your house now, at three in the morning, you _definitely_ won't be giving me a second chance. Hope the rest of your night went well, and Happy New Year.

All the best,

Louis

* * *

_Dear Louis,_

_Thanks for your letter. It certainly made a lot of things clearer, and it did make me laugh. I think you're horribly mean to your poor sister, but I guess she and her boyfriend are more than capable of paying you back..._

_Don't mind Susannah. We've been friends for years, and she gets a bit overprotective of me, sometimes. Although I guess she'd prefer to call it loyal. But I've noticed that you and your family are like that – all loyal and overprotective of each other, so I guess you can understand that. I'm glad that she dumped her Butterbeer on you, though. I may understand why you acted how you did, but that doesn't mean I forgive you._

_But you know, we don't go back to school until next weekend, so if you fancied meeting me in Diagon Alley on Thursday, around two ish, say, we could perhaps get a late lunch and I could maybe think about forgiving you then? You'd have to promise not to pull the sort of jokes you played on your sister, though._

_love from_

_Felicity x_

_PS: I don't think you're a pervert. I do think you're a weirdo, though..._

* * *

Dear Felicity,

Lunch sounds great. See you Thursday,

Louis x

PS: I guess I agree with you there - I suppose I am a bit weird. I blame my family...

* * *

**A/N: **As it's Christmas, how about a review? It's effectively giving someone (me) a present FOR FREE, and how often do you get to say you've done that?!


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